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12/05/2009 Motherhood, timelines and celebrating MitchSunday marked my second Mother's day without Mitch.....it was and probably forever will be a bitter sweet day. I adore Meredith and feel so amazingly blessed to have her around, she brings joy and laughter to our home each day. But my heart longs to have Mitch, to see how big he would be now and to just hug on him.
I was sitting at a stop light the other day and watched a mother bird gather twigs for her nest for her babies...it reminded me of how important mothers are. I remember when it first hit me that motherhood was a HUGE job and perhaps one that I was WAY underqualified for. I had taken Mitchell in for his 3 month check up. I had been concerned because he wasn't lifting his head as much as I thought (and study in school) he should. PLUS he had this funky stuff on his tongue. The doctor's reply to his head situation was....."Have you seen his head? He is in the 90th percentile in size, that is a big, heavy head to lift." He was not concerned. The tongue thing was thrush(a yeast build-up) and he was due for a shot or two. I walked out into the lobby with a screaming baby only in his diaper and with a bright purple tongue. By the time I passed through the people starring at me in the lobby I was crying. I was thinking, this was not as easy and fun as I had thought it would be, this was not what I had planned and I was not sure I could do it. Obviously those were just "new mom" thoughts that I got over because I did it again.
 This past week Meredith had to do a timeline for class. From her birth up to now....age 9. She LOVED looking at the old pictures.....it broke my heart. So many pictures of me being Mitch's mom of John being his dad and Meredith being his sis......I felt robbed looking at them. I did not want to be done being Mitchell's mom....I still have mothering in me for him. I want Meredith to have her brother and John his son. Besides, what other 9 year old had to put the death of a brother on their timeline?! This was NOT what I had planned for her timeline.....or Mitch's....or mine......
Motherhood....heck, life has definetly not been what I had planned nor do I understand it most days. I was reminded of a scripture that I have hidden in my heart since I was a young girl and recently came across it again during my devotions.
Proverbs 3:5
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding."
I have needed to be reminded lately to place my confidence in the Lord, to seek Him for my well-being and sense of security. So many times we place our trust in other things and people and even in ourselves and in the end we are let down. Loving and trusting God does not mean a lifetime of smooth sailing. I read this lately and it hit home
".......a blessing is not the only proof of God's love. Discipline and reproof are also signs of God's loving affirmation in our lives. The difficult times of our lives may be the source of more blessing than the good times if we are ready to learn(wisdom)from the painful as well as the pleasant circumstances of life."
One of my favorite tasks as a mother is to plan the kid's birthday parties. Friday Mitchell would be 12......it will be the second birthday we have "celebrated" without him. Last year I planned a small party this year the planning has been in someone else's hands. We hope you will come join us for this very special night as we honor Mitch. ( See John's entry below). We look forward to celebrating with our family and friends.
01/05/2009 OU vs Texas AM - May 15th - Norman - 6pmDear friends, Friday, May 15th is going to be a very special day for Team Whitaker and the Leukemia Lymphoma Society of Oklahoma. As many of you know, the OU Baseball program - especially the coaching staff, has been very special to our family while Mitchell was in treatment, during his last days, and since his passing. Last year, Head Coach - Sunny Golloway, changed his uniform number to #18 in Mitchell's honor for the entire season. This was done so that Mitch would see all the ballparks that he would have played in as a Sooner. If you don't understand how significant that is.....then you don't really understand baseball :) Furthermore, there is a framed "Whitaker - 18" game jersey in the OU baseball lockerroom that the players pass everyday. This year, OU contacted us with an offer that we couldn't refuse. Power Roofing (www.powerroofing.net) pledged $50 for every homerun would be donated to the OU Baseball charity of choice. OU Baseball selected the Leukemia Lymphoma Society in Mitch's honor. Every time that OU hits a dinger....the radio/PA announcer declares: "That homerun means that Power Rooding just donated $50 to the Leukemia Lymphoma Society in Mitchell Whitaker's honor....." Obviously, 2009 has been a great year with Team Whitaker fundraising and roofing companies! PowerRoofing and Heartland Roofing - OKC are making a difference in battling this disease. To date, OU has hit 74 home runs and the team record of 114 is within reach! PowerRoofing will be making an honorary check presentation that night...Mitchell's 12th birthday. We are encouraging all of our friends to show up to the park, WEAR BLUE for MITCH, get loud, and show support for OU Baseball/Power Roofing. When: May 15 - 6pm Where: L Dale Mitchell Ballpark - OU What: OU vs A&M - PowerRoofing/LLS/GoMitchGo Night Why: To raise money for a cure, give thanks, & wear blue |
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